Inner Weather: Becoming Activated
There are moments when the body changes faster than the mind can follow, such as a flush of heat across the face, a tightening in the jaw, or a drop in the stomach. These moments sometimes arrive like a weather front - one minute there’s blue sky and the next the a storm rolls in from nowhere. That storm is activation, a sudden shift in the inner climate shaped by environments we once lived in. These sensations are like the first drops of rain, subtle but unmistakable. The body knows a storm is coming long before the conscious mind does.
Why do some storms arrive so quickly? Activation is fast because it is not responding to the present moment. It’s responding to an echo of something much older - a tone of voice, a look, a moment of exposure - and suddenly the body recognises a pattern from years ago. The sky darkens and the storm rolls in.
For those who grew up feeling different, misunderstood, or exposed, sometimes visibility can feel like a lightening strike. The old belief returns “If they look at me, they’ll see something wrong”. This belief is not about now, it’s about then. Once the body reacts, the mind often follows with its familiar thunder “They’re judging me”, “I’ve revealed too much”, “I’m weird and now everyone can see”. This voice isn’t reporting the weather, it’s predicting it based on storms from long ago. It’s taking the role of protective narrator, trying to keep you safe by assuming the worst.
So how can you recognise when you’re in the storm? The main clue is that the reaction feels much bigger than the moment itself. We might feel exposed, eye contact becomes uncomfortable. We feel like cringing at what we said. We lose access to our adult perspective, as the younger part has taken over convinced the old danger is here again. We feel different, wrong, or small, and want to curl up and hide, or disappear.
Finding shelter whilst the storm passes. You can’t fight a storm, instead you need to find safe ground whilst it passes. Use grounding techniques for this: Name it “this is activation”. Locate where you’re feeling it in your body, such as face, jaw, chest. Contain it by placing a hand on your cheek or sternum, or give yourself a hug. Slow your exhale and let your breath tell the body the danger has passed. Reorient “I’m here now .. not there then” and “I’m an adult now … not a powerless child like back then”.
Activation is not a sign that something is wrong with you, rather that something once felt very wrong around you. The storm belongs to a childhood atmosphere where being seen felt risky and where difference felt dangerous. Recognising activation is like learning to read your own weather. You begin to know the signs, the pressure shifts, the clouds gathering, and with time you learn that storms pass. They always do.